Have you ever taken an IQ test? I know given the “opportunity”, I’d bomb it, even with a sense of pride, given my skepticism towards the value of such a test. But when I saw the New Yorker cartoon IQ test, I couldn’t pass up the chance. After all, cartoons are funny, and humor IQ is probably the anti-IQ IQ. The ones below aren’t funny as New Yorker cartoons go, and I missed one, but not enough to keep me from blogging this.
CARTOON I.Q. TEST: I DON'T GET IT!
Here are five recent cartoons that confounded our readers. It’s up to you to determine whether the original rationale is any less silly than the others.
You answered 4 out of 5 questions correctly.
1.
(a) "Airy" is a terrible consistency for meatballs. Ideally, you want them to be dense and chewy.
(b) She is being sarcastic. The meatballs have made her sick and now she is off to the hospital, posthaste.
(c) In high society, it is impolite to speak ill of meatballs, no matter how over spiced they may be.
(d) It is funny that meatballs were served at such a fancy dinner party.
Correct. You answered D.
2.
(a) The cowboy just realized the terrible faux pas he made earlier by calling the Native Americans "Indians."
(b) The cowboys' enemies are lighting the arrows in order to burn down the nearby rocks and cactus.
(c) The enemies are lighting their arrows, but, for the cartoon to make sense, the men should have been in a fort or some other structure that can actually burn down.
(d) These cowboys are spying on Native Americans who are attacking some other cowboys, in a faraway fort.
Incorrect. The correct answer is C.
3.
(a) The two woman are suffering from heat stroke—they actually believe that they are eighty years old.
(b) Just as "hang ten" refers to a surfing maneuver, "turning eighty" is young people's slang for playing in the water.
(c) Modern technology and plastic surgery have made eighty the new thirty.
(d) Each woman is turning forty years old, for a combined age of eighty.
Correct. You answered C.
4.
(a) The text was not meant to be printed in the magazine but, rather, is a reminder that the artist wrote to himself about his podiatrist appointment next week.
(b) Life is short and precious. It's important to get outside and enjoy nature, especially on Tuesdays around ten.
(c) Hats are making a resurgence, and one man is not happy about it.
(d) The cartoon is poking fun at the interchangeability of events. Next Tuesday around ten is the same as next Friday around four.
5.
(a) In lovemaking, as in all things, practice makes perfect.
(b) Yoga is so popular these days it's everywhere—even in the bedroom.
(c) Sometimes spouses can be deliberately and aggravatingly passive-aggressive.
(d) The man represents Obama and the woman represents McCain, or vice versa.
Pasted from <http://www.newyorker.com/humor/polls/cartoonidontgetit/081103sh_shouts/results/?entryId=7456076>
Every day is February 14 around me, right? Love ‘ya Mrs. Littlefield. 11:58 PM GMT | Read comments(2)Happy Valentine’s Day!
Every day is February 14 around me, right? Love 'ya Mrs. Littlefield.
The following two im chats speak for themselves. Below is a perfect example of the bunglers in charge of customer service/ sales representatives in large organizations. The first chat log is between HP and me, and the second between a chappie and me finding humor in the botched sale. A follow up telly call to the "correct" HP department also fizzled after I was transferred to a dark hole in the HP system. Enjoy.
(Chat 1) HP Chat Session Log
This is an automated email sent from the HP Home & Home Office Store Server. The following information is a log of your session. Please save the log for your records. Your session ID for this incident is 473822.
Time
Details
*07:25:33AM
Session Started with Agent (Donna)
Alex Littlefield: "Order declined, but my bank shows HP deduction, what gives?"
*07:25:39AM
Agent (Donna): "Thank you for contacting HP Home & Home Office Store chat."
*07:25:51AM
Agent (Donna): "My name is Donna."
*07:26:03AM
Alex Littlefield: "Hi."
*07:26:39AM
*07:26:40AM
Agent (Donna): "I understand that you encountered a problem while trying to place an order online."
*07:27:08AM
Agent (Donna): "I apologize for the inconvenience."
*07:27:15AM
Alex Littlefield: "POS Debit - Visa Check Card 1379 - HP HOME STORE 888-999-4747 COUS $1,073.13-"
*07:27:19AM
Agent (Donna): "I am more than willing to assist you."
*07:27:44AM
Agent (Donna): "Do you have an existing account here in HP?"
*07:27:58AM
Alex Littlefield: "My account was debited, but HP said order denied?!"
*07:28:09AM
Alex Littlefield: "No, just this order."
*07:28:18AM
Agent (Donna): "OK."
*07:28:47AM
Agent (Donna): "Your order encountered a system decline."
*07:29:15AM
Agent (Donna): "I suggest that you call HP Customer Service Department."
*07:29:26AM
Alex Littlefield: "Well the system was happy to deduct from my bank before declining!?"
*07:29:33AM
Agent (Donna): "They will be the one to assist you on your purchase."
*07:29:41AM
Alex Littlefield: "Duh, who are you then?"
*07:29:58AM
Alex Littlefield: "What's the point of this chat?!"
*07:30:18AM
Agent (Donna): "I am a Sales Representative from HP."
*07:30:42AM
Agent (Donna): "Do not worry on the charges."
Alex Littlefield: "Whatever. Ciao."
*07:30:50AM
Agent (Donna): "It is only a temporary charge."
*07:31:03AM
Agent (Donna): "The credit will be back to your account."
*07:31:25AM
Agent (Donna): "Is there anything else I can assist you with today?"
*07:31:43AM
Alex Littlefield: "Yipee! No thank you."
*07:32:03AM
Agent (Donna): "I noticed you did not purchase an Extended Warranty on your previous order, Alex."
*07:32:20AM
Session Ended
(Chat 2)
me: HP cust. service is freaky! I just tried to buy a computer. I'll send you the chat in email. Funny in a sorry way.
Michael: good
me: There seems to be a delay in my responses to "Donna's" questions. I think I'll blog this chat.
Michael: hillarious
Michael: that's funny man just funny
me: They just turned down cold cash. Freaks!
Michael: send the chat log to their customer support and then a corresponding receipt of your mac purchase
me: No, I'm buying a tablet.
Michael: good call
me: For the last 3 years that has been my mantra. Want inking support.
Michael: that chat stream was amazing
Alex Littlefield
Alex
LITTLEFIELD
AlexLittlefield
Professor 李福隆 (Matt Lee) summarized my master's thesis in Chinese. This presentation was May 10 at the 2008 真理大學(Aletheia University) 國際經貿學術研討會議程. I first presented it in English but no video of that part of the presentation. One paper down and maybe many more to go since I my press on for yet more skool'n. The topic of this thesis is a international relations theory approach to the (WTO) TRIPS conflict, which was no fun to write and surely less fun to read. But Professor Lee did a great job explaining my thesis and we only met the day of the conference with no prior discussion.
Joshua from Sawyer, MI and anyone else who is wondering: I didn't see any sort of retail bike sales at the Giant bike factory in Da Ya, Taichung County. But there is an outdoors store called "Together" in Taichung City on Wen Xin RD and Wu Chuan West RD, which is run by Giant and the prices on the bikes are pretty good. The store sells Scott as well since Giant is Scott's OEM. Last year they had a carbon mountain bike MCM V LTD for about USD$680 with Rock Shocks suspension (See Photo). Wish I bought the MCM then, can't find it anymore, the bike or the price. Well the bike certainly lived up to it's namesake LTD, just too limited for me. If you like Decathalon mountain bikes, they also have a store nearby.
We've all run into our share of self destructive companies. Usually only the ones with government life support manage to linger. This morning I ran into a suicidal company. Ironically, this is a newspaper company, and last time I heard the industry as a whole is hurting for subscribers. For my part, I'm a willing and enthusiastic customer of one of the print products (yes paper) but alas it seems the company is doing its damndest to turn away my coin. The below email only reveals some of my ordeal. Not wanting to be mean, I'll protect the identity of the newspaper.
Sir/Madam:I want to buy 6 months Anywhere Post: Weekly Student Magazine and my tracer number is Tracer # 090809L315
How can you take credit card information over an non-secure proxy? No way, will I send correct credit card info. over http. It's just unbelievable your company doesn't provide https.
Further your site crashed on me 4 times as I was entering my order information. Welcome to 2008 please put 1994 behind you and your customers. What an unpleasant and risky experience, totally unacceptable.
Also I don't want the CD, just the magazine (2 copies per week), but that isn't an option.
Lastly, I want to buy additional copies as needed (for my students) directly from 7-11, but went to many stores and none of them stock said paper despite the 7-11 logo on your paper indicating it is available at 7-11.
Seriously, you need to get your act together; or is your company intentionally trying to self destruct?
Sincerely, Alex
No 3 strikes and you’re out in life. Duh. So then why do people stop swinging at the blasted ball? Swung and hit a lot of air, missed opportunities, characterized many a game no longer played. There’s no need to fret too much if one hits that single early or late in the game. New pitches are always there, but you’ll have to come back up to the base and be willing to swing at air and look foolish again and again. Hey and don’t swing like a madman, go for a single. Hah! Why nothing grander? A simple splendid single, standing out in a stadium full of spectators, is perfect enough. Life doesn’t need to be all or nothing. If one is after a home run (early in life) or nothing, then he will likely get nothing. Perhaps missed a home run in your so called prime? Surely, you know more than you did then, so shouldn’t that increase your chance of success this time around? Be conservative (realistic?) with your goals, but not conservative to the point of not participating. Moses wasn’t 80 until he was called to confront Pharaoh and liberate the Hebrews. So, dear sir, swing at that wiffle ball till you hit it. And no need to take yourself or life too seriously, have fun swinging at the wiffle ball of life while there's still breath in you.
(After writing this motivational piece I realize it looks a lot like those maudlin e-mails that get forwarded; at least I’m not emailing it to anyone and it is my own original sentimental thought.)
Always interested in trying a new web application I checked out the online "game" Second Life. Well new to me anyway, I only first heard of it earlier this year on the Business Week Podcast. As the name implies, SL is a virtual world were participants can create a second life and interact with each other via IM or even VOIP (which can be disabled). The SL program is a free download and does not require any kind of credit card information making the decision to try it out it all the easier. After completing a standard application it was time to begin my new second life. For my new identity I was asked to choose a last name from a drop down list of last names and add a first name of my own. The last names aren't really family names in any language, one of the few real last names I saw was "Wycliffe." Many common first names like "John" or "Johnny" were already used up. I went ahead and chose the last name "Blessed" and used my own real last name as my first name. "Blessed" at least is a word, whereas many of the last names are hard to pronounce let alone remember being that they are not even words, Pig Latin included. After coming up with a name, the next step was designing an avatar to give my new character Mr. Blessed a look.
This is the fun part of the game. The facial and body options are detailed enough to create an avatar that pretty closely resembles the creator himself. And if most players are going for an accurate resemblance of themselves, SL is played almost exclusively by models and MTV dancers; well defined pecs and skin tight outfits are the norm. The method for creating the character's appearance is by intuitive scales one can slide between two extremes for example: raising or lowering eyebrows, eyes far apart or close together, going from knock-kneed to bowled legged and so on. Clothes can range from tight fitting to loose fitting. I wanted Mr. Blessed to be as short as possible but even then he is not conspicuously short. If any midgets want to play SL and are going for accuracy they'll be disappointed. For my part I made my character a caricature of myself: baggy clothes, extra long arms, as short and skinny as the game permits topped off by an awkward gait as a result of the long swinging arms. For the next 2-3 hours I was absorbed by the game and began to neglect my First Life. Luckily for me the program frequently crashes on my computer (weak graphics card?) so I had to give it up. Still I find that I play Second Life in one form or another. For example, I wrote this blog during a 3 hour sleepy lecture on pink sheets and why firms de-list.
Someone in this picture just turned 100 last Wednesday. Born in Luxemburg 1907/10/10 to a German father and French mother, it's Carola, or as I like to call her "Ur Oma" which means Great-Grandma in German. Here we are together last July in her "old folks home" in Erfurt. She speaks, French, Portuguese and German and she's proud of that so I'll brag on her behalf. Her mind is clear and she is healthy but weak from old age. The sad thing is, she told me it is a struggle to just make a cup of coffee and she doesn't have any sort of motivation to live. Usually what keeps most of us going are plans and dreams of sorts (and hopefully the happiness/ sense of purpose in the present), but at 100 it's not that hard to understand that she probably isn't setting a lot of goals for herself. She asked when we'd meet again and I replied in 3 years which is about how often I go visit. She smiled at my reply because she knew I was expecting her to be around in 3 more years. Her daughter (my Grandma) said the mayor visited and was mentioned in a local newspaper. She and my Mom went to visit this weekend and Ur-Oma's son Sylvester lives in the same city as her.
In the previous post "3 Friends and Counting" I mention friends that have tracked me down after a spell of years. It's nice to know that I am remembered and favorably at that. When I think back on my friendships I remember how many good friends I had and that I had been unworthy of their friendship and trust. Because of frequent moving I began to think of friendships as "easy come easy go" and began to treat people as disposable. This attitude also came out in the words I said to friends; words which would have hurt the listener many years ago, but today hurts me the speaker because I lost those friendships and bear the shame of my words and actions.
I can think of many examples (unfortunately), but will only mention only one because each case is an unhappy memory. I was good friends with a peer named Joe E. and we hung out all the time after school. We went to different schools but were neighbors. Anyway, I decided I wanted to hang out more with another kid name Tony M. who liked the same music as me (at the time that was rap music and "jams"). As a result, Joe E. and I had a fist fight because I didn't hang out with him anymore. There was no reason we couldn't all be friends but I had deliberately excluded Joe. Many times I wish I could take my current "maturity" back to my arrogant and immature past which didn't end when I reached legal adulthood.
Two final reminders: 1. Thanks to technology it is easier to maintain friendships over time and distance when face to face conversation isn't possible. Don't misunderstand me, friendship absolutely requires face to face dialogue, but technology can be useful when that isn't possible. 2. Whatever our medium, we build and break ourselves and others by the words we speak. As James 4:5-6a says, "Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth. And the tongue is a fire a world of iniquity."
I only started blogging this year and part of my hesitation is that I like to think of myself as discreet. I don't think I have to worry though about unwanted publicity, since there are more blogs than readers and after all it's probably only my friends (current and past) who will ever find my blog. So much for discretion and I'm happy to say that long lost friends from the past have found me. Not surprisingly two of the three are also bloggers. Rick originally from Chicago has a personal blog and Karina originally from Cagayan de Oro has a medical blog. All 3 are friends whom I met in 1991-1992 as a result of working on the MV Doulos.